what i am saying here i am saying to me because i need to hear it right now.

when i was a kid i said a prayer after talking to my brother about bible stories in the old testament. i said this prayer because in my young mind at the time it sounded like a good deal, i get heaven forever and i don’t have to go to hell. many years later,when i was 18, i got tired of living for myself and feeling that life was pointless and told God that he could have it all if he would just give me Jesus and direction.

it has been 11 years (yikes!) since i said that and meant it. it has been an amazing adventure so far, one of joy and pain and peace and tension and love and struggle. i love Jesus today more than ever and am committed to his mission on this earth. i don’t say this so that you will be impressed because God isn’t, it was his plan from the beginning.

so what is it about? once a person has committed their life to Jesus what happens?

i can tell you this, the life we have been led to believe is successful by our cultures standard is not the life that Jesus calls us to. this is what i have discovered in the past 2 years and wish that i could have discovered sooner. Louie Giglio helped me a little by saying this:

“i’ve got such a small story of me and i’m living it in the middle of a massive story of You, and i’m faced with a choice. do i want to keep starring in a little bitty story of me or do i want to surrender my life and join the great big story of God?”

this is something that i have to ask every day, sometimes every hour or minute. there is a reason that God saved me and it wasn’t just so that i could go to heaven or sin less, although those are both involved. so i had to ask myself, do i really think that i am going to tell a greater story than the one that God has already been telling since before creation?

there is no easy formula, there is no 5 step book, emotional time of worship, sermon series, denominational affiliation, or church program that will align my life with Jesus’ plan. (although God’s church plays a central role in this, more on that later.)

i have found it is a life long, slow, difficult, enduring commitment to Jesus no matter what happens.

i have so much i want to say but i think God says it best in his own words:

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading, kept in heaven in heaven for you, who by God’s power are being guarded through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, so that the tested genuineness of your faith- more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire- may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ. Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.”- 1 Peter 1:3-9

If only. these words pop up in my mind constantly and i hear them spoken frequently by those around me.

If only i had more time. If only i had more money. If only i was married. If only i was single. If only i could go to this thing, talk to this person, watch this movie, read this book

then ___ would happen and life would be better and more complete and i would be happy.

I start to long for these with only’s and i sense deep within me a desire for something that these are only symptoms of; a relationship with someone who will never leave me, who will tell me the truth, who will love me when i am unlovable, who has my ultimate good in mind.

I have this already and there is no ideal that i have dreamed up in my mind that could ever come close to it. Jesus is the ultimate reality and life in His kingdom is the life He died to bring. Since the fall of mankind in Genesis we have only been able to dream of the ideal because of the sin and darkness that separated us from God. Now that Jesus has come he is actively reconciling those who believe in him back to God. As we know Jesus more we become more real, we become alive, we become what God designed us to be.

Eternal life is not only life that doesn’t end but a quality of life that reflects the character and will of God. In the book of John, Jesus said:

“and this is eternal life, that they know you the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent.”- John 17:3

As i learn to trust Jesus and understand that he desires my good and that he is the key to real living i find that all things in life are working to this end; that God might receive glory and that i might receive hope and joy and love and peace and purpose.

This process of being made real is not an easy one. so…where are you at?